Monday, August 29, 2011

Why adoption?

So we are adopting.....there are times I can't even believe it, times I'm excited, times when I am scared (most of the time). But mostly, there is peace when it comes down to it. Peace that God has called and God will equip. It is exciting, to think that our family will be growing again. I had given up on that dream even while carrying Luke, to have this opportunity is beyond exciting! But now I can dream again. I can dream about fingers and toes, bottles, first steps, first words, and maybe just maybe I can dream in pink and purple!!

People ask me all the time how and why we are adopting. The main reason is we want more kids. We have room in our hearts and lives for more. We have both spent time in Africa and have seen up close the effects of poverty, how these orphans have no safety nets. There are no social programs, no food kitchens, no way to get out of some situations. I looked in those eyes, I saw those swollen bellies. To be able to give a home to a child that so desperately needs it, that is awesome. We know that we are the ones who will be blessed, that Jack and Luke will have their eyes and their hearts opened, that is awesome! I can already smell and taste the streets that we will walk. I feel like my heart never left Africa, I know that Kenny's didn't either. I have no false expectations that it will be easy. I think of the loss that my child or children will come from, how their hearts have already been broken at such a tender age. I grieve for their families, for the history that will be theirs. It is such a different legacy than Jack and Luke will have, but how humbling and exciting that we will write the rest of the story together. 

There is so much redemption to me in adoption. I see how much God the father loved us, even while we had nothing he died and bled so that we could live. He took us in, He gave us a place to grow, to live, to find community. I want to be and feel that we will be a place of safety and unconditional love. I am amazed at how much I love already, how incomplete I feel without them. It will have it's challenges but I say bring it!

I will be writing a lot about adoption and our family, I am so excited to have a record of our journey.  A way to look back and see week by week, month by month how it all went down.  I am so sure that this is the journey we are meant to be on.  I can't wait to hold the precious one or ones that are coming.  It seems like it is so far away but it isn't!!  Habakkuk 2:3 says that it is for a future time, that if it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place.  Those words have been my comfort, I don't know the time or place but I know it's coming!


I have always, always, always, loved the mountains.  My favorite part of moving back to NC was that there are mountains and beaches- all within 2-4hrs.  I hope to create little hikers and little mountain lovers out of the boys.  It must have been my lucky week then when I got to go to the mountains not one but two times!!!
My mom and I took the boys the first day.  It was a little rainy which for any of you that know Luke know this was bad...I mean bad.  There were a lot of tears, wailing, tantrums, and screaming when the thunder/rain hit.  Don't you know it is dangerous and not safe (according to Luke)  However, you can only meltdown so long before you get tired, you know a couple of hours :)  We braved the mountaintop. 













Then it was time for a Brown family road trip!  I love getting out of town and going somewhere together, even if it is only for the day.  The boys had a great time and this time the weather was fantastic, sunny with a high of 78.  Luke was excited, he talked about rain the whole way up!  We hiked longer this time and the boys did great, I think my plan is working....





















                                                              We had a great time!

The Intro

So..... where to start??  I am new at this whole blogging thing.  I have a ton of things in my head, a lot that I would like to say, but somehow sitting down and doing it is really hard!  This blog is a record of my family, the ones here at home, and the ones we hope to bring home soon.  Life is crazy right now.  I feel like we are definitely in uncharted waters, for a planner like me it has not been fun.  Sometimes I walk this road with grace, more often than not I am on my knees seeking forgiveness for what I have said, done, and thought.  Love that the Lord takes me as I am, that grace is never-ending, always abounding.  This is our journey- told through my eyes.  So, here we go!