Give me Jesus

I am sitting here in floods.  Literally floods of tears.  Tears of sorrow, tears of gratefulness, tears of longing , tears of peace, tears for the overwhelming goodness of our God.  I am blown away by this season, this arrival of the Christ Child.  This child who came and became a man, became our Saviour.  He was a man of sorrows, a man well acquainted with our human ways and for that I am grateful.  I  take peace in the fact that He cried tears and knew the frailty of our heart, our very spirit.  I also take great peace in the fact that He is WAY bigger than that.  That He left His throne and walked this earth, all the while keeping an eye on the heavenly, the divine, the sacred.  I mean He WAS heavenly, divine, and sacred.  That He was in fact God.  He had seen the end, He knew the end already.... That He chose to suffer and die anyway.  That love compelled Him to move through His earthly life, pointing the way and setting us free. 

I think about the stable and the night He came to earth.  How Mary must have felt holding him.  How she truly probably had no idea what it really all meant.  I wonder what it must have been like seeing Him grow, seeing the divine shine through.  That Messiah was here, the great longing was fulfilled in her son, in her very presence.  I think we all have it, a longing for something more...for something Holy and sacred, for peace, for the end of suffering.  I am filled with such a joy, such a peace to know that Jesus gave us a way. 

I have been thinking a lot about shepherds too.  Chris did a sermon the other day and it has really stuck with me.  I didn't know that shepherds were considered one step above lepers.  That they were plain and crass, unfit for proper society.  That one night they were just going about their business and bam- thousands and thousands of angels announcing Christ's birth.  I picture darkness being split open and pure, holy light filling the sky.  I love that the angels came to them.  I feel their plainness, I feel at times like they must have- a stranger in their own land. 

I am trying to show my kids this.  How this time is amazing, how faith is amazing, how this day marks a new beginning.  The way to life.  The way to God.  How this is precious and not to be taken for granted.  I feel like I fail in this all the time though.  That I have been busy this week, buying this and that, cleaning, cooking, all the mundane things of life.  It really is hard for me to focus on the true meaning of Christmas.  I love presents-  giving and receiving them.  I love wrapping them up and anticipating the opening of them.  I love the magic of it all.  I get too wrapped up in the material things though.  Presents are fun, I think they have their place and who doesn't love to watch a child's face light up??

I was brought to my knees today though.  Somehow through the fog I saw Jesus.  I clicked on a blog link and heard this song.   I heard His voice and He was telling me to stop.  to hear.  to focus.  This song touched my soul, it touched my core.  Because really truly, when it all comes down to it isn't Jesus all we have?  Isn't it the root of all that is good and perfect in our life?  Isn't that what we really long for?

It is a simple song, a simple prayer.  Give me Jesus.