Thursday, December 27, 2012

Wow, so it has been a really long time since I posted something.  And we have really exciting news!

We got a court date for April.  April 2nd at 11:00 AM to be exact.  So excited, so over the moon excited for that development.

I laugh that I haven't written it down here.  That I haven't posted it.  I shared it, a lot of people know about it but I didn't share it here.

I think I wanted to hold it close.  To think over it, rejoice over it, just bask in it.  Finally, we have a date.  I wanted this whole holiday season to be different.  Quiet, sacred.  I knew that it was our last as a family of four.  Our last with just the boys.  Of course I am so excited about the girls but I would be lying if I said there wasn't some anxiety mixed in too, well a lot of anxiety.  If I could leave tomorrow I would, I most definitely would.  But I wanted to enjoy the season as it is right now.

It has been a special time.  The court date made me focus on the here and the now, what I have right in front of me.  I was so irritated that the date was so far off when we first heard about it.  I cried and cried that it was so far away.  I was expecting February and even that felt so far away.  Then I thought that maybe there was a reason for the delay, what my mind considers a delay anyway.  Then all of these things popped up that needed to be taken care of,  many things that we can iron out and set in place before we go.  That is a blessing in itself.  So many decisions to make regarding the boys and school, especially Luke.  Lots of options to iron through and paperwork to turn in, you know the drill.

I started to see the wait as a blessing.  An opportunity.  Don't get me wrong, I still am on pins and needles wanting to wrap my arms around those girls.  Oh my goodness, I just want to go right now.  BUT I took the opportunity and I have been blessed.  It has been such a gift to have it taken out of my hands.  It has been a gift to have time to sit and anticipate Christmas, the birthday of my Savior.  Life is so busy and it is so hard to do that.

I can't say it was all sacredness and peace, not by a long shot.  But there were so many beautiful moments and days.  It was special.  To talk over the real meaning of Christmas with the boys and have them experience that.  Time to watch goofy movies, time to really read and talk about Jesus and His story from the very beginning.  About how Jesus truly is a light shining into the darkness, peace in the midst of chaos.  It was pretty awesome.

I am sitting by my tree, boys playing happily nearby.  So content and happy.  So blessed in so many ways.  I am filled with anticipation of what is to come.  How our household is going to increase very soon and I am so excited.  So very very ready to bring my daughters home.  So glad for the opportunity I had to rest and recharge, to ready my spirit.  God is so good.