Ninjas....

So the boys and I have been talking a lot recently about the new child or children that will be joining our family. (shocking, I know!) It is always so interesting to hear and talk about what they think is going to happen. Jack of course has way more to say than Luke. One of the big things we have been talking about is about skin color and our family "matching". Luke really didn't have anything to say about it.  Suprising because normally in life EVERYTHING MUST MATCH!  He is most excited about being the BIG brother. He is so in love with Jack, he watches and imitates him constantly. So cute. I asked Jack what he thought about our skin not matching. We have talked about it in the past quite a bit. I have always said that we will match in our hearts and that is the most important thing, that family is family no matter what our skin colors. I really had no idea that he thought so much about it. He wanted to know what I thought other people might think, if they would say anything to him. I told him that I did think people would notice, that because we are not the typical family a lot of people would have a lot to say, even people we don't know. It just really got me thinking about the attention we will receive, whether I like it or not. Anybody that knows me even a little knows I shrink away from attention, good or bad. Funny though, already I have that mama bear instinct going on, trying to think how best to handle the situations. I was reminded of something my social worker told me when we had our home study. She talked a lot about how it is so important to give our kids language to deal with adoption and questions people or they themselves might ask. That they don't automatically know how to express their thoughts or feelings, or that something might not sit well with them but they don't know how to talk about it. It is intimidating to think through all these issues, a hefty responsibility for Kenny and I.

I was also reminded of a conversation Jack and I had a few weeks ago. (pretty embarrassing to think back on it). He was sitting in his carseat and said, "you have to watch out for black people, they are very dangerous". I of course being the hothead I am laid into him and started lecturing. I'm pretty sure the words I'm shocked, I can't believe you would say that, we never judge based on skin color, MANY words along those lines.  By this point I had pulled the car over and was still lecturing. He looked at me like I was insane and said "Mommy, I don't know what you are talking about but ninjas (yes, ninjas) are always dressed in black and they are very dangerous". Of course then I am sitting there with my mouth open not quite sure where to go after that. Sensitive much?? There is a lot to be said for listening and asking questions first. I had put my own sensitivity about race into that conversation. I made assumptions based on one sentence. Honestly though, with that lead- in who wouldn't right??  Right??   Maybe not.  Seriously though, there will be a lot to learn, it will be a skill that will need to be developed.  We have done so much reading on the subject and had so many conversations with ourselves and others.  Obviously getting it from my head to my mouth will be a process, I'm sure one that will take some practice.  It is important that we get it right, that we as a family can talk about it well.  So,  we will be praying for lots of grace and wisdom, we are gonna need it.....